Getting up to mischief is so easy in Bali

My favorite chapter in Bali Raw, and the most fun to write, was 'Monkey Tail and The Legend of the Grey Sardine'. I can imagine that it will also be one of the more controversial chapters.

One of my brothers suggested I take it out of the book as he felt the scene where I end up in bed with three prostitutes was taking things too far. He said that it made me look bad. Another brother suggested I leave it in because he knew the guy in question and he thought 'Grey Sardine' was a good depiction. He also enjoyed the story and found it humorous.

This left me in a quandary as I respected the advice of both brothers.

In the end it was the title - Monkey Tail and the Legend of The Grey Sardine - which swayed me. I love the title. I feel it has a certain humorous ring. And it would certainly spark my interest if I came across it while browsing through a book.

Another reason I felt 'Monkey Tail and The Legend of the Grey Sardine' should be left in is that it sheds light on what living in a place like Bali can be like. Things like this don’t happen all the time but if you want to make them happen, then it is possible...

Bali is a crazy place and every night is a Saturday night. A simple phone call and a small reunion with old friends can lead to a huge misadventure. Perhaps it’s a bit reminiscent of The Hangover movies. Things start tame, if organizing a hooker for the ugliest man on earth can be considered tame, then they gradually spiral out of control. The next morning you shake your head and wonder what the hell happened.

I remember having a bit of a reality check on the night in question. I suddenly looked around and realized I was standing naked in one of Bali’s swankier hotel swimming pools. And I was surrounded by five half-naked hookers. I thought, "Shit, how did this happen? What am I doing here and how did I get myself into this?"

I swam to the side of the pool and took a huge swig of a vodka drink. I told myself that I would deal with those annoying little questions later. Then I dove under water and swam back to join the fun. Some things are just better thought about when sober.

There is a huge temptation to play up when you live in Bali. And you know that for a few dollars you can make the wildest party on earth occur.

I hope people realize this when they read Bali Raw. It may sound like an excuse and I may be considered weak, but the temptation is always there and sometimes the allure of the mischief is just too strong.

Three blokes, five hookers, a carload of alcohol and a posh swimming pool is just too good a story not to share. It’s the sort of story blokes like to talk about in the pub. Whenever I catch up with Aaron, AKA The Grey Sardine, the whole story of that night is always retold.

'Monkey Tail and the Legend of The Grey Sardine' is meant to be a laugh but it also true. It happened exactly as I’ve written it. I hope it enlightens readers about Bali, its working girls and its expats and also the kind of parties that happen on the island occasionally.

I hope it makes people laugh and it doesn’t offend anyone.

Oh and did I mention that I love the title?

Aussie tourists and HIV-positive hookers in Bali

Did you see this story by Steve Pennells in the West Australian newspaper on the weekend about Australians and HIV- positive working girls in Bali?

Here's a taste of the article:

"Australians are not good," Lily says, sitting on the floor of a small room in Sanur surrounded by cheap glamour photos taken of her in a bikini. 

 The young ones are always "mabuk", she explains, using the Indonesian word for drunk.  

And they are often rough.  

"I see it at Paddys Bar all the time. They are drunk, stupid and fighting," she says. She has sex with at least one Australian tourist each night, picking them up at the iconic 

Paddys Bar where she pays the staff RP50,000 ($5.43) to get inside and flirt with the tourists. When she goes back to their hotel, many refuse to use a condom.  

And she never tells them she is HIV positive. It's bad for business.

You can't be too careful. Seriously. I've seen so many men pick up a girl in a bar, without realising she's a working girl. And I've seen nearly as many offer to look after a girl so she can stop working and behind his back, she's still on the game. The prevalence of AIDS among working girls in Bali is SHOCKINGLY high, and tourists who stupidly insist on no protection are making a huge mistake.

This is exactly the kind of thing that made me start to write Bali Raw. People need to know the truth about the dark side of Bali.