Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Five tips for western men wanting to date Indonesian women.




 

 

 

Never leave an Indonesian girl unattended in a swimming pool



It is necessary to understand that a number of Indonesian women do not know how to swim. Although Bali is an island the Balinese people tend to avoid swimming in the ocean. Due to tourist influence the culture is changing. But before the arrival of tourists the people of Bali would only enter the ocean if it was unavoidable. Also many of the women that come from other places in Indonesia grow up in rural environments. They did not have swimming pools and the ocean was too great a distance and impossible for them to reach. A number of these women were also raised in a semi strict Muslim culture where modesty is considered very important. They would not get away with strutting around in a bikini back in their home villages.

It is important for men that date Indonesian women to remember this. And it is wise for them to have a go slow approach if they want their lady to join them in the swimming pool or for a dip down the beach. With the right sort of encouragement and support an Indonesian lady will enjoy the water. And she will do her best to learn how to swim. But it may take time and a lot of time frolicking in the shallow end of the pool. Teaching an Indonesian woman the basics of swimming is also a great way to get to know her, and it is certainly a laugh. Just be careful not to let her swim in the deep end alone as I promise you she will sink like a stone if you do.


Don’t get nervous if your Indonesian lady talks to her friends in her own language


I was sitting with a friend who was new to Bali and to dating Indonesian women. And he was having a real problem because the love of his life would chat to her girlfriends in her own language. He could not understand what was being said. And for whatever reason, this always left him thinking that they were talking about him. My friend then told me he was thinking of learning the language so he knew what was going on. Learning the language is a great idea. But it is also important to remember that if an Indonesian lady does not want you to understand what she is saying, then you won’t. She will either switch dialects or she will speak so fast that you won’t have a chance in hell of catching up.

When my friend told me about his problem, I told him that when he had the opportunity he should eavesdrop on a conversation between two women from his own country. And that he should listen for as long as he was able before he became bored. At the risk of sounding sexist, Indonesian women chat about the same things that western women chat about. They chat about their friends and family, shopping, food, and paying the rent. They pretty much chat about any topic that comes up in a normal conversation between women. Although the men in their lives are important they are not the be all and end all of their discussions. Put simply, if you could understand what your Indonesian girlfriend was saying to her friend. Then you probably would not be that interested anyway.

Respect her family and understand her culture

This is probably the most important one of the five. An Indonesian woman will have two great loves in her life and you will never supersede them. Your Indonesian partner will also take the time to teach you what your role is with her family and her culture. And if you are open to learning you will understand that they are reasonable and simple. You may be expected to offer some type of financial support to her family if it is needed, but if she is honest this will only be when it is needed. It is also wise to put in place boundaries, but if you are also honest about what you can afford. Then what she asks for will never be beyond your means. You will also be expected to give her the freedom to practice her traditions and at certain times to be available to join her on these occasions. Basically you will be asked to meet the family and to join in some celebrations. This is what a woman from your own country would expect within a relationship.  And I would suggest that you go along and enjoy it, you might just have fun.

 If you do these things your Indonesian girlfriend she will reward you with everything a relationship with an Indonesian woman has to offer. Indonesian women can be very caring, loving, supporting and fun to be around. The rewards of dating an Indonesian woman will far out way the small sacrifices you may be asked to make.

Watch your phone because she will be watching it


If you get the chance watch an Indonesian woman use her phone. You will then notice that her fingers swipe the screen so fast that they become a blur. You should also have no doubt that this woman is reading and digesting information faster than any super computer. Now imagine this same woman with your phone in her hands and you may get my point.  Indonesian women view an unattended phone as an invitation, they will pick it up and they will look. Never leave your phone where she can get her hands on it if you have something to hide. They are also able to remember every call and text made from the phone in a matter of seconds.  

Don’t eat her food


You may be sitting at a restaurant with your Indonesian girlfriend and she may offer you a taste of her food. And then you may think it will hurt her feelings or be unmanly if you refuse to take a bite. Now take a look in your girlfriend’s eyes and ask yourself see if you can see a glint that you haven’t noticed before. That glint is female Indonesian cruelty and she would like nothing more than to watch your head explode. Remember your Indonesian girlfriend has been eating hot food since the day she was born. And have no doubt that the mother’s milk she was weaned on was laced with the hottest chillies available in Indonesia. It doesn’t matter how good you are at eating spicy food you cannot compete with her taste buds. It is also a well-known fact that you can strip paint with an Indonesian women’s food. The food may look tasty but it is lethal and it will kill you. The best thing to do is to politely refuse the taste and then hope she doesn’t offer again.

4 comments:

  1. Really, I’m sorry you feel that way. What I was trying to write, obviously unsuccessfully. Is that dating an Indonesian woman is pretty much the same as dating a western woman, with a few cultural differences thrown in to make things interesting. When I said that many Indonesian women will expect some sort of support for their families, I probably should have clarified. Perhaps it would have been better to say this would only happen if their families needed the support. And so I will take this criticism on board.

    You are probably going to call me sexist as well as racist, but I have met so many men who are in this situation. And they happen to think of their Indonesian partner as some sort of strange alien that they could not possibly understand. I have also heard a number of these men complain and then ask why they need to support their girlfriend’s family as well as her. What I was trying to say is that this may be expected within her culture and that they should do their best to understand. As for what I wrote about going to family gatherings. A number of men grumble about this also, but they would never see it as a chore if a western partner asked them to meet with her relatives. Then again maybe they would, but I was only hoping to clarify this for them.

    By saying a number of Indonesian women have difficulty swimming, they check phones, they eat hot food or what they say to their girlfriends is the same as western women. I was telling the truth, but more than anything I was trying to be funny. Come on isn’t it healthy to have a laugh, I’m not really being nasty? But I am sorry if it came across that way.

    The situation with the conversation actually happened and I could not believe that he was so worried. But this should be seen as the male of the species being a little too insecure and needy. Not the other way round or for that matter racist. The swimming pool scenario also happened and my girlfriend at the time nearly drowned. Unfortunately I didn’t realise that she had no swimming skill what so ever. And that she did not really understand the concept of the shallow end and the deep end of the pool. The hot food and phone checking, you guessed it, they happened to me as well. But then it is also true that western men check phones as do western women. The fact is I am writing about Western men dating Indonesian women in this post. And even if I am not doing it well, I am also trying to entertain. Pointing out that all people are the same sort of takes the fun out of things, don’t you think, I do?

    Of course you are entitled to your opinion and I thank you for your feedback. But if this post does sound slightly racist I would ask you to please believe that this is not my intention at all. I would also say that if it does come across that way then I am completely happy to take it down. And I would like to add, that I will do so if I receive another complaint. Thank you for your comment.

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  2. For what its worth, I really found your initial blog post very insightful and as a glimpse into the "normal" types of questions, differences and customs I thought it was great!

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  3. For yall bule/expatriates you need to understand your woman culture first before humping your Indonesian woman or stepping up a bit serious.

    Indonesia is a sprawling mosaic of a thousand cultures and ways of life. There are 300 ethnic groups and we are completely fucking different culturally. Yall know generalization of any sort dangerous. But bule's stereotypical here in Indonesia are laughable. I'm sorry to say most of bule's woman literally ugly as fuck and they usually came from low social class and uneducated. Seriously man I believe you can get better woman rather than ugly bar hookers

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