Fundraising for orphaned kids

I don't like the limelight. I'm a person that would prefer to keep quiet rather than say the wrong thing. I am painfully shy most of the time and I find it hard to hold a conversation with strangers. 

Weird that I wrote a book like Bali Raw, right? It is perhaps also strange that when I was offered a chance to promote Bali Raw by doing a book signing, I couldn't refuse despite my fears of public speaking.

There was a big hook that I just had to bite. I refused to do the promotion right up until the bar manager, he who wanted to do the book signing, said to me. "Mal, all the proceeds will be going to help feed the orphan children in Thailand." How do you say no to that?

I'm a big believer in giving something back and I have a soft spot for kids, especially kids that come into the world with no one to take care of them. When I worked in Bali, my family's company did a lot of work with orphan children with hearing disabilities. We sponsored a six year old orphan girl and ensured that she received a hearing aid. I spent a lot of time writing about and promoting the charity. I would love to mention this charity, but I don't think they would like to be associated with a book like Bali Raw. 

Suffice to say that despite my fear and the panic attacks I had right up to the event, I agreed not only to do the book signing, but to make a speech and meet and greet anyone that had bought Bali Raw. Luckily ,the event was a success and despite my nervousness I didn't make too many mistakes. Following is the article printed in a local Thailand paper. As this is all about the children I have blocked out the bar's name. I would have liked to block out my own, but if you are reading this, you already know who I am.

Cocktail Night and Book Signing 
Last night .. ..., manager of the ... ...., decided he would do something a little different to coincide with 4th of July Independence Day celebrations. And what could be more different than the showing of the Australian Rugby State of Origin, a cocktail night and the signing, in Thailand, of a book written about Bali.
With cocktails being made by .... and drinks being served by beautiful waitresses in Bali dress, the bar was fairly rocking by the time Bali Raw author Malcolm Scott managed to stumble around, meet a few of the punters and sign a few books.
A great night was had by all. And all monies made will be going to a very worthy cause, a Thai orphanage. I think Malcolm Scott said it best, when in his impromptu speech at the end of the night, he stated. "It is always good to give something back and who better to give it to than children?"

The event raised three hundred dollars for the Thai orphanage in question. Not a lot of money by western standards but hopefully it will go a long way in a place like Thailand. 

I would ask anyone that reads Bali Raw to please remember to give something back when you visit a place like Bali or Thailand.  I choose to give to orphaned children, your choice may be something different. But please, when you are enjoying that tropical holiday, put your hand in your pocket and give a little to help the country that you are holidaying in.

Trailer trash or travel writer?

I have been asked what Bali Raw is all about, what it all means. And I'm not going to lie to anyone. Bali Raw is just my opinions and experiences after having lived in Bali for eight years. I am not a literary genius that has come forth with some great secret about Bali...far from it actually. 

Bali Raw is my first book. It was written in a tiny two bedroom house in the back blocks of Bali. The house was falling down about my ears and there were great globs of mould growing from my bedroom walls. This carcass of a home was all I could afford to rent, because I borrowed money and took a year off work so I could write a book. (My working title at the time was Busting Bali)

I shared this house with a menacing drunk who would stumble into my room at all hours of the morning with a working girl in tow. He would constantly wake me up or interrupt my writing. And then he would regale me with tales, over and over, of his night's misadventures. 

This menacing drunk is actually still a good friend, but we no longer live together. He once went to the toilet on my stereo while I was in the middle of writing a chapter. And I had to stop writing and half drag half shuffle him to bed on more than one occasion. 

Bali Raw was written on an eight year old computer that would seize up every three minutes. Then it would take ten minutes to restart. The computer was so old that I suspected some of the mould growing around my house had been incubated within its innards. It took me four months to write the first manuscript for Bali Raw. And at the time it contained 116,205 words.

Bali Raw could be considered the tumbled wreckage after a collision between a trailer trash
writer and a travel writer. 

I hope that explains something of what the book's about. But if it doesn't, you might just want to read Bali Raw. You never know, you might enjoy sharing some of my Bali experiences.

Getting up to mischief is so easy in Bali

My favorite chapter in Bali Raw, and the most fun to write, was 'Monkey Tail and The Legend of the Grey Sardine'. I can imagine that it will also be one of the more controversial chapters.

One of my brothers suggested I take it out of the book as he felt the scene where I end up in bed with three prostitutes was taking things too far. He said that it made me look bad. Another brother suggested I leave it in because he knew the guy in question and he thought 'Grey Sardine' was a good depiction. He also enjoyed the story and found it humorous.

This left me in a quandary as I respected the advice of both brothers.

In the end it was the title - Monkey Tail and the Legend of The Grey Sardine - which swayed me. I love the title. I feel it has a certain humorous ring. And it would certainly spark my interest if I came across it while browsing through a book.

Another reason I felt 'Monkey Tail and The Legend of the Grey Sardine' should be left in is that it sheds light on what living in a place like Bali can be like. Things like this don’t happen all the time but if you want to make them happen, then it is possible...

Bali is a crazy place and every night is a Saturday night. A simple phone call and a small reunion with old friends can lead to a huge misadventure. Perhaps it’s a bit reminiscent of The Hangover movies. Things start tame, if organizing a hooker for the ugliest man on earth can be considered tame, then they gradually spiral out of control. The next morning you shake your head and wonder what the hell happened.

I remember having a bit of a reality check on the night in question. I suddenly looked around and realized I was standing naked in one of Bali’s swankier hotel swimming pools. And I was surrounded by five half-naked hookers. I thought, "Shit, how did this happen? What am I doing here and how did I get myself into this?"

I swam to the side of the pool and took a huge swig of a vodka drink. I told myself that I would deal with those annoying little questions later. Then I dove under water and swam back to join the fun. Some things are just better thought about when sober.

There is a huge temptation to play up when you live in Bali. And you know that for a few dollars you can make the wildest party on earth occur.

I hope people realize this when they read Bali Raw. It may sound like an excuse and I may be considered weak, but the temptation is always there and sometimes the allure of the mischief is just too strong.

Three blokes, five hookers, a carload of alcohol and a posh swimming pool is just too good a story not to share. It’s the sort of story blokes like to talk about in the pub. Whenever I catch up with Aaron, AKA The Grey Sardine, the whole story of that night is always retold.

'Monkey Tail and the Legend of The Grey Sardine' is meant to be a laugh but it also true. It happened exactly as I’ve written it. I hope it enlightens readers about Bali, its working girls and its expats and also the kind of parties that happen on the island occasionally.

I hope it makes people laugh and it doesn’t offend anyone.

Oh and did I mention that I love the title?

A "Chopper-Read-in-Asia" book

Bali Raw is not a literary book, it’s not meant to be. It is a book written for the concreter, the labourer, the guy that does your brick paving. It is a book written for my mates or people like them, hardworking blokes that like a beer in the pub after a hot day on a building site.

Bali Raw was conceived after a chat with an ex-army buddy. He said to me, “When I’m out on manoeuvrers, when I’ve been stuck in the bush for three or four days, I just want to read something easy, something to kill the boredom. I don’t want to read some arty-farty book that I can barely understand. I want a real book that has drinking, fights and a few girls in it. You should write a book like that about Bali. You know, a Chopper-Read-in-Asia type book.” When I wrote Bali Raw, I tried to keep this comment firmly in my mind.

Bali Raw is true, of course. Everything in the book did happen. But you’re not going to find a word like 'salubrious' in the pages. And you’re certainly not going to find anything salubrious in the stories.

Bali Raw is a gritty recounting of my experiences living in Bali. It is a book written for your average hard-working guy who likes nothing better than watching a game of footy with a few mates. And who dreams of one day being able to afford to live in a place like Bali.

5 Tips for Riding Scooters in Bali

Everyone seems to want to hire a scooter when they holiday in Bali. These are my tips to anyone - especially schoolies heading there - that is planning to ride a scooter in Bali. For eight years I rode a motorbike in Bali, a real one, not a scooter. In that time I had three accidents, one of them bad, and I know plenty about the roads and conditions, so please consider my advice.

Bring your own helmet and expect the unexpected!

1. Don't ride one

There is no real reason to ride a scooter in Bali. Around town, taxis are cheap and the driver will wait for you if you need to stop and do a bit of shopping. Also most places are within walking distance. Think of all the things you will miss and the people you won't meet if you zip by on a scooter. 

If you want get out of town and go to that legendry surf break, or to go on a tour, pool your money with a few friends and hire a car and driver. The driver will wait for you if you are surfing or touring. They will also help with translation and they may know a few secret surf spots or scenery. Hiring a car and driver is relatively cheap. And it can be a lot of fun. Think of it as a road trip, you will have a lot more laughs and you will see a lot more of the sights.

One more thing, remember to barter when organising the price.

2. Bring a helmet

OK. You have decided to totally ignore my first bit of advice and you have your heart set on riding a scooter around Bali. Then go out and buy yourself a proper helmet, built to the proper safety standards, before you leave home. Yes, they are expensive, but how much is your life worth?  The motorbike helmets that you get in Bali are cheap copies. They will not save your life if you come off at speed. A friend of mine had his helmet split in two when he was involved in an accident. Another friend died when his helmet's visor snapped off and pierced his brain. Maybe you should think about this when you are looking at the price tag for motorbike helmets in your own country. 

You will be able to bring a helmet through Bali airport. Little tip: do not bring it in a box and make sure it looks second-hand. Scuff the helmet up and place a few stickers on it. Customs will try and charge you if you bring in a sparkling new one.

3. Keep your eyes in front and don't be afraid to use your horn and your lights

If you are riding in Bali, keep your speed down and your eyes in front. This is how Indonesians ride. Indonesians have a tendency to ignore their mirrors - I don't recommend you do this, but make sure your main focus is on what is going to pull out in front of you. Cars, trucks, and other motorbikes will pull in front if they see a gap in the traffic. Get ready to give them full blasts on your horn if they do. At night, use your headlights and flicker your high beam. 

Don't be afraid to use either of these tools. Other drivers/riders will expect it.

4. Expect the unexpected

If you ride a scooter in Bali, you can expect cars, trucks, buses, other motorbikes, dogs, cows, people, chickens, horse and carriages, engine parts, and low-flying airplanes to distract you or get in your way. I have experienced all of these. The airplanes come in to land over the bypass and I once had part of an engine come flying down the road towards me. 

At all times keep your wits about you, stay focused and expect the worst.

5. Do not ride drunk

The golden rule of Bali is this: if you do not do it in your own country, then don't do it in Bali. This goes for all things. Bali is a lot more dangerous than people believe. 

Would you really get on a motorbike while drunk in your own country?

Exposing the Brutal Reality of Gangs, Drugs, Violence and Prostitution

Some people seem to have a problem with Bali Raw being too violent or
mentioning what happens between expats and prostitutes, and that's fine.
Everyone has a right to their opinion including myself. But I have to ask
why people that feel this way would pick up and read a book like Bali Raw in
the first place. 

Bali Raw is violent and there are stories about prostitutes in its pages. It
isn't a nice book about Bali. This should be evident from the blurb. If
these things offend you then maybe it isn't for you. But then Bali Raw also
gives an honest view about what Bali has become. And it is a view from an
expat that lived there for eight years. 

Some people also seem to feel that Bali Raw is about Kuta and not about
Bali. For the most part this is true. But I would then pose the question,
what is Bali without Kuta? 

Everyone who travels to Bali visits Kuta at least once and anyone who has
been to Bali more than once has been to Kuta. Kuta is a must on most Bali
tourists travel agendas, even if it is only for the shopping, or to gawk at
the nightlife. Maybe people won't like it. But to me the two are so
intertwined that they could be considered as one.

Bali has its wonderful side, but people already know that. But in the pursuit
of keeping Bali's pleasing image intact, are visitors to Bali being given all
the facts? Bali has sold itself so well over the last twenty years. It is
advertising genius, especially for someone like me with a background in
marketing. Put the name Bali in the title or headline and people want to
read it. But then a lot of bad things happen in Bali. All anyone has to do
is type in "Bali crime" on a search engine and scroll back a few years to find
out about them. It could be said, that in part, by writing Bali Raw I was
trying to wake people up to this fact. 

Bali is a great place and a delightful holiday destination. But it does have
a dark side. Do people want to know about this dark side? 

I think they do. Bali Raw wouldn't be selling so well if they didn't.